Outrageous Visions - See Who You Are Meant To Be

March 4th, 2010

As you may know, I believe Fun Is not a four letter word. I Know that If we are able to Inject Fun into almost every situation, we are more clearheaded, lighthearted, and full of vitality. When injecting fun into every situation is as natural to us as shaking our fists at errant drivers, we will be able to see more clearly who we are meant to be. (How is that for an introduction that connects this article with My Big Mission?)

Doing the Laundry Can Feel Overwhelming.

Injecting fun into doing the laundry is a great place to start. Learn how to inject fun into almost anything. Besides death and taxes, the laundry shall always be with us. If we keep up on this task, it’s not much of a problem. But if we put off doing the laundry because it’s not fun and feels like drudgery, we are setting ourselves up for unhappiness.

So if we learn how to inject Fun into doing the laundry we will accomplish several things at once (Multi-taskers take note!):

We will build our resilience.
We will learn to be proactive instead of procrastinate.
We will increase our sense of well-being and self-esteem.
And we’ll get the damn laundry done!

Here is how my husband Murray and I make doing laundry fun:

Murray works four days a weeks at the coast, I do much of my work from home, so the bulk of laundry duty falls to me. I am fine about that. Unlike technology, which sometimes tries to kill me, the laundry is a concrete task. B ecause I can touch everything and move everything at will, I have Control over the laundry. And Control, as you may know, is an aphrodisiac. Therefore, doing the laundry is sexy. If doing the laundry is sexy, then I am sexy. If I am 58 and sexy, this is a good thing. This is one reason Murray really likes it when it’s Laundry Day.

First I pick up clothes, put them in the washer, add the soap, turn on the water, and voilà! Wet, clean clothes. I move the wet clothes into the dryer, turn the dial, and voilà! — dry clothes.

So far, so good.

It’s the folding of the laundry that can back up and not be fun. Also, because I am legally blind, matching socks can be a black hole energy and joy suck. That’s the technical term for it. I could choose to gnash my teeth, and shake my fist at Fate, for strikingly blind in my 30s, and bringing such frustration and misery upon my innocent self. I’ve done a bit of this and in some ways it’s a little bit fun, but mostly thinking and feeling this way just makes me feel icky.

The Joy of Flinging

My solution to this sock-matching dilemma: fling all of Murray’s socks and underwear onto the floor next to his dresser. Directions: I pick up one of Murray’s socks, fling it to the floor. and shout: “Take that, socks that are difficult to match!” I swell with power. “And take that, Murray’s underwear, too!”

I’m having fun and the laundry is getting sorted. But perhaps the most important part of this story, is how Murray interprets this underwear/sock pile on the floor. When he comes home, and walks into our bedroom, and sees the pile of socks and underwear he usually shouts with joy something like: “The Laundry Goddess has paid me a visit!”

Let me tell you, his calling me the Laundry Goddess makes it much easier for me to do his laundry for him with joy. I know he’s going to be thrilled, and I mean thrilled, when he sees the pile of clean socks and underwear on the floor. He interprets this pile, which lesser peoples might think of as proof of my sloppiness, as proof that I love him.

So here are the simple, though not always easy, steps to injecting fun into anything:

Decide you are going to inject fun into everything you can.
Find a way to change the story of oppression to a story of Joy. Let yourself be a little wicked and a little outrageous in this process.
Marry someone with a great sense of humor who really loves you.

See? Simple.

Kicking the Dinosaur of Doubt Out

February 26th, 2010

Last summer, while in the beautiful city of Vancouver BC, I made a Vow.

The last time I made a Vow was when I was about 10 years old and I looked around my family and saw violence, alcohol abuse, and despair. I made a sacred Vow to myself that I would not re-create this family.

I kept that Vow. There was never any doubt that I would do whatever it took to get myself an education, and break the cycle of addiction and codependency that has held my family captive for generations.

This first Vow was for myself and my as yet uncreated family. My second Vow is for myself and my global family. My work with the Bali Institute of Global Renewal has given me a glimpse of how I might be able to use my gifts to change the world in a way I would never have been able to imagine for myself when I was that little girl of 10, deciding to take on the challenge of breaking the cycle of addiction in my family.

I made this new Vow last July when I was at a workshop presented by two dear friends of mine, Donny and Kirk. In four days they created a place where people could heal on a deep level. The energy and the vision they created for this temporary family was so magnificent, it inspired me to make a decision.

I committed to doing whatever it takes, spending whatever it takes, to create a first class team for my world-class business, a business that is committed to helping people get in touch with the deepest, wisest, juiciest, most courageous part of themselves, so they can go out into the world in the most magnificent way possible.

The result of making this Vow was the creation of my new business: Outrageous Visions: See Who You Are Meant to Be. My work takes me all over the world, providing workshops to help people sing, speak, write, and live without fear. In April I’m inaugurating my new club: Vicki’s Outrageously Alive Club. With my travel, and speaking, and retreats, I will have a limited time left over to work with private clients.

So these private clients need to be Special. And by Special I mean people who are feeling a deep call to work with me, and have a willingness and readiness to do the work and the play necessary to free themselves from their limiting beliefs and bad habits. When we are free, we can stride deeper and deeper into the world, determined to become who we are meant to become. (That is a paraphrase of a Mary Oliver poem.)

If you know enough now to know that you want to apply to be one of my few private clients, click here to fill out the application. You are not making a commitment; you are following the deep truth that is within you. Fill out the application, and then we will chat. If you feel we are a good fit and this is the right time and this is what you are called to do, then I will ask you to make a three-month commitment to coach with me. Quite honestly, I don’t want to mess around with people. And it takes time to make big, deep changes.

Here’s what I offer my clients:

• The best of me, including all my experience, my courage, my intelligence, my creativity, my compassion, my enthusiasm, and my intrepidness.

• My wicked sense of humor. I can almost always find a funny way of dealing with an old, sticky problem that has you discouraged and defeated. Here is a Visionary Voice Message I created after a particularly bad day dealing with technology. And let me just say, I love my Macintosh computer, and technology is what keeps me connected to the world. But on this particular day technology was no fun.

• Because I am a little psychic, let’s just get it out there, I am able to envision for my clients a future that is more magnificent than they are able to do. I’m not forcing any agenda on people. It’s more like I hold back the branches on the path, so you can see more clearly where it is you need to go, in order to get to the beautiful meadow that’s been waiting for you all along.

• Because of my experience as a high school teacher, an elementary school counselor, a performer, a drug and alcohol counselor, a grief counselor, an employee assistance counselor, a parent educator, I am able to help you untangle an area of specific problems in your life.

• Because of the obstacles and challenges I’ve had to deal with in my life, I know how to take on anything that gets in your way, and transform it into Joy Fuel.

• I know how to inject fun into almost any situation. And fun is not a four letter word. When we are having fun, we are full of more energy, we have an ability to solve problems better, we increase our immune system, and we attract happy people.

I want you to check in with yourself right now. Are you feeling a resonance with what I’m saying? If so, click here now to apply to be a private client of mine. If you are hearing a resonance and you say no to the resonance, then you’re not a good client for me right now. I want to work with people who are willing to listen to the truth that is in them, and willing to take the next step, and the next step, and the next step. I want to work with people who want a Coach for Life, someone who knows them, knows the terrain of their lives, and always holds the best and highest vision for their lives.

So if you want to work with me, if you have an inkling or nudge that you want to apply to be one of my few private clients, fill out an application and then we’ll set up a time to talk. It is important that we are a good fit. It is important that you make at least a three month commitment to work with me. I charge $497 a month paid in advance. This may seem like a lot of money to some, and hardly enough money to others. So be it.

Here’s the thing I have learned about money: when you set an intention, when you decide to do something, and I mean really decide to do it, the money will come. Money is magic that way. If you are hearing a clear call inside you, you may even be a little teary as you read this, then you need to commit to manifesting the glory that is within you. And part of that commitment is feeling that you are worth it. You deserve to have great coaching, and I am a fantastic coach.

Don’t think about it. If you are feeling a resonance with what I’ve written, apply now. Your applying is not a commitment. Filling out the application form is just the next step in finding out if this is truly a good fit for you. If it is, great, if it isn’t, the application form is going to give you more information about yourself. There’s no way to lose.

I’m going to paraphrase Marianne Williamson here. Say this aloud as you read it:

My deepest fear is not that I’m inadequate.
My deepest fear is that I’m powerful beyond measure.
I ask myself, “Who am I to be brilliant, talented, abundant, living a life I’d love, making a huge difference in the world, feeling happy for no reason?”
Actually, who am I not to be? I am a child of God.
My playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about my shrinking so that I don’t make other people feel insecure.
I was born to make manifest the glory of God that is within me.
And it’s not just in me, this glory is in every one I know, every one I’ll meet every day for the rest of my life.
As I let my light shine I unconsciously give permission to other people to do the same.
As I free myself from my fear my presence automatically frees others.

Click this here to get a recording of me saying this.

Please say it along with me every day. My job right now is to help you make a decision. Deciding to put off a decision, deciding not to even fill out my application now, is a :No.” Saying “No” is okay for sure if that is your truth, but don’t practice kidding yourself. You either learn to trust the deep wisdom inside of you and act on it, or you kid yourself. If you are kidding yourself and you want somebody to bust you for it, that would be Me!

Want to apply to be a private client? Click here.

Bless you on your journey,

Vicki

First Followers: Listening Deep and Honoring What You Hear

February 18th, 2010

I have my own, unique music to play in the world, and so do you. That’s why I’m starting my Outrageously Alive Club. I’m here to help us all join together, and keep on keeping on even when it’s scary, even when no one listens, even when people question our intentions.

Joshua Bell, one of the world’s greatest musicians, played incognito in a Washington, DC subway station. He played one of the most difficult, beautiful pieces of music in the world, on one of the most well-crafted, expensive Stradivarius violins in the world. He played for an hour and made $32. The only people who heard him clearly were children. They would walk over and stand before him and listen, until their parents dragged them away. Everyone was too busy, in too much of a hurry to do all those important things we all have to do.

The point? I think there are several points. One point is just because nobody is paying any attention to you, doesn’t mean that you don’t have something of value to offer. Joshua Bell had just performed earlier that week at a sold-out concert where tickets cost $100 apiece. If his self-esteem was based on his response to the subway station, he might give up. That would be a bad thing.

Here is a link if you’d like to see him playing, and he is incredible…Click Here.

Help Less: Listen More

February 11th, 2010

What gets in the way of seeing clearly who we are meant to be? Sometimes it’s by being who we think we should be, instead of giving ourselves and others the time and space to find out who we really are. We fill up our lives, our brains, and our hearts with knee-jerk behaviors. Some of those behaviors serve us, and some of those behaviors are so habitual they’re more like compulsions than choices we make.

For example, some of us are compulsive helpers. If someone shares a feeling of anxiety, disappointment, or uncertainty with us, their feeling triggers our own anxiety, disappointment, or uncertainty. We rush in to solve the problem, so we can get rid of our own discomfort.

Example: I got scared the other night when my sweet husband had trouble peeing because he was taking some new medication.

Here Are Some Responses We Might Hear When We Share This Kind of Vulnerable Feeling:

• “Is he taking supplements to help with his enlarged prostate?” or
• “A friend of mine has prostate cancer and you had better get that checked out: or
• “You know if you focus on negativity, you will create more negativity: or
• “All illness is an illusion” or
• “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”

Rarely, oh, so rarely are we honored with a blessed silence, giving us time and space to explore our feelings more deeply. Rarely, oh, so rarely, are we encouraged by someone saying, “Tell me more.”

Before I start sounding too self righteous, I must confess that I am not a great listener myself. I have focused on improving my listening for almost thirty years and I am only an Intermediate Listener. Still, I know enough to catch myself before I start micromanaging other people’s problems for them, and before they have asked for my advice, at lease most of the time.

We aren’t being bad when we over help without being asked.

We are, though, missing an opportunity to connect with another human being on the planet. And when all is said and done, our happiness is dependent on this Connection. We can have billions of dollars, literally, and then commit suicide when we lose money. (True story.)

On 9/11 people on the hijacked United flight that crashed in Pennsylvania did not use their last hours to leave memos for work. They called their loved ones to say good bye, and tell them how much they loved them.

It’s all about relationship. And relationship is all about listening. Not solving, just listening.

Action Step

Try this for one day. When someone shares a feeling or a problem with you, take one moment to breathe before you jump in with a solution. Then wait five beats and see if they continue talking. Usually they will. Often if you just shut up and listen, people will come to their own solutions. You may say something like “Tell me more” but discipline yourself to stop from telling them what they should do or how they should think or feel.

Just for one day trust listening.

Let me know how it goes. This is one of these simple, profound changes that could alter all of your relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. When you start listening to others better, you listen to yourself better as well. How cool is that?

When You Listen More Deeply to Yourself, You Can See More Clearly Who You Are Meant to Be.

Shower the people you love with love and love all the people you can,

Vicki

Fun is Not A Four Letter Word

February 4th, 2010

Recently I received this mini-lecture from a new acquaintance: “Vicki, everything can’t be fun you know.””My response was: “Oh, yeah! Watch me!”

I wisely kept my response in my head. Did I really want to get into a fight about my belief in the power of fun? Not with someone as committed to not having fun as this person turned out to be. That discussion would be fruitless and no fun.

This isn’t exactly what happened, but it is close enough to exemplify one of the biggest roadblocks to knowing who we really are and who we are meant to be: listening well to ourselves and others.

Taking a Stand for Fun is Serious Business

person turned out to be. That discussion would be fruitless and no fun. Taking a Stand for Fun is Serious Business I’m 58, legally blind, grew up in an alcoholic home, my daughter almost died when she was twenty, blah, blah, blah. Do I really need to prove I have suffered to prove that putting Fun in the center, in the heart and center, of everything I do is not only possible, it is essential? I guess I do.

Fun is for children, right? If only children still got to have fun. We are doing a pretty good job of extricating fun even from childhood these days. Recess has been abolished in many states because all that play outdoors is not learning time and we need to get those kids to buckle down and learn how to pass all those standardized tests. Meanwhile, the dropout rate is soaring, childhood obesity is increasing, as is diabetes, stress disorders, and blah, blah, blah.

What have we got against fun, anyway?

Research shows that we learn more when we are having fun. Couples who play for five minutes together report they love each other more. And I mean they played for five minutes before they took the questionnaire. Imagine if they played together every day?

I repeat: What have we got against fun? Research clearly shows people who are grateful, cheerful, and playful live longer, have more friends, and are more productive on the job, Fun isn’t for lightweights who do not understand that this world is full of suffering and problems that need to be solved. Fun is the missing ingredient in most of our problem-solving.

Serious-minded, logical, altruistic people need to commit to fun if they want to actually solve some problems instead of killing themselves with overwork, self-doubt, and self-righteousness. Yuck!

We are having a national epidemic of seriousness! I’m serious about this.

Look at Google! They have pool tables and chess boards and free massage chairs everywhere. The only food you have to pay for is a vending machine with junk food in it. The junk food is priced at how bad the food is for you. This is funny! This gets the point across! And Google fired China for being so committed to violating human rights. Google is a multinational corporation that has integrity and understands how important fun is to the bottom line. Do you think you are smarter than Google?

If Google believes in fun, don’t you think it is worth entertaining the idea that fun might make you smarter, healthier, and more creative? Just entertain the idea for thirty-seconds that putting fun in the CENTER of your life might be the most profound decision you ever make. Try this for thirty seconds. I dare you.

I guess this is my Sgt. Vicki voice. I’m kicking a little butt for fun. And I’m having fun doing it.

So here is what I say to the woman who lectured me about how I can’t have fun all the time. I can too! I had fun getting a screening colonoscopy. I had fun when my mother died. I had fun when I was in transition giving birth to my first child. I started a sort of funny song from my daughter’s bed in the hospital when she almost died. I’ve written funny songs about being blind, traveling for twenty-four hours on a train alone in India where no one spoke English, and I even wrote two funny songs within hours after a pickpocket stole four hundred dollars and my wallet in Prague.

So suck on eggs, Crabby Woman who says I can’t have fun all the time. I may stumble and fall, but I promise you I know how to pick myself up, get back in the game, and get smiling sooner than most people I know — without being afraid to do my grieving! Ha!

Put a little fun in your life, already!

Vicki

P.S. Want to sign up for a free Play Date with me? This is a limited time offer. When I stop having fun doing these, you know what I will do. Contact me at vicki@outrageousvisions.com to set up an appointment. .

Fun with Laundry

Kicking the Dinosaur of Doubt Out

First Followers: Listening Deep and Honoring What You Hear

Help Less: Listen More

Fun is Not A Four Letter Word