I can hold my breath for thirty-five seconds.
You probably can too. It’s not hard.
In thirty-five seconds I can reheat my coffee in the microwave.
I can hug someone and produce a credible amount of oxytocin, that “feeling loved” hormone.
I can appreciate the smell of a star-gazer lily,
Laugh at the absurdity of losing something I just had in my hand,
Kiss my husband all over his face
in just thirty-five seconds.
On January 12, 2010 Haiti had a thirty-five-second event.
In thirty-five seconds
250,000 people died.
Survivors fear 150,000 are still buried in the rubble.
In thirty-five seconds 1.3 million people were left homeless,
schools collapsed,
hospitals crushed those they were trying to heal:
Mothers with newborns,
Fathers, sons, daughters, friends, aunts and uncles —
Real people with loves and passions and hopes.
Some people, safe in their homes,
have postulated that all these people
brought this suffering upon themselves.
The Law of Attraction is at work you know, and,
Just as with the tsunami of 2004
All those people chose to be drowned,
Crushed,
Left childless,
Or widowed.
One teacher who survived the quake
Heard the cries of a student and went into the rubble to save him.
The building collapsed killing him,
But when they dug out his body
Rescuers found the child alive, cradled in his arms.
Or,
As some people who claim to speak for God claim,
These people in Haiti,
all those infants, toddlers, school kids,
They are all practicing the wrong religion
And that’s why they were punished.
Just as New Orleans was buried under water
for the sins of those wicked black people.
35 seconds.
Start counting now.
How long is thirty-five seconds of terror and destruction?
Enough time to end a life you’ve known and begin another life that terrifies you.
Enough time to lose everyone you love
And every familiar place,
Every store,
Every cafe,
And the home you have built.
Might you be stunned if you had lost everything in thirty-five seconds?
Might some people look at your stunned face and call it apathy?
Might you have difficulty mustering the energy, hope, and resilience
it takes to rebuild a country,
A country whose government was broken to begin with?
Broken by poverty, corruption, and violence?
Greed,
Would you like to take some action from your home,
Your safe, warm home?
Every little bit counts.
I know these people.
They are good, honest people of courage and heart.
Give them a little something in the name of someone on your Christmas list,
Someone who has too much stuff anyway,
Which is everyone I know,
Including, of course,
Myself.
Bless you and bless the invincible strength of the human spirit.
This is an American Dream story, a story of overcoming addiction, social class, and limiting beliefs.
My 29 year old son is, in fact, collecting billionaires, but before I get to the specifics of that amazing phenomenon, I want to back up a bit.
My mother, daughter of a narcissistic alcoholic, dropped out of high school to marry my father, who, the son of an alcoholic, was already an alcoholic at seventeen. My older sister followed in my mother’s tracks by dropping out of high school and getting married at seventeen. She was pregnant. That marriage lasted about a year and then she got pregnant by another man and bore his son, all this before she was twenty.
No one in my family was artistic, though my dad was a singer. No one travelled or read books or talked about politics. Most of my family probably did not even vote; I know my mother and father didn’t.
I grew up with a lot of examples of how I did not want to be. It would have been easy to become a statistic and fulfill the default outcome of addiction and lack of self confidence. All I had to do was pick up my feet, so to speak, and go with the flow of the river of addiction in my body.
I knew if I did not want to repeat the past, I needed to start swimming early to get out of the strong current that wanted to take me down with all my other alcoholic aunts, uncles, and cousins
My mother’s love, public school, and my brain wiring saved me from repeating the cycle of addiction and domestic violence. I was a good student and hung out with good students who were headed to college. I made a vow that I would graduate from high school, go to college, and be able to support myself, so I would never have to stay with a man who drank, slept with other women, and beat me
Breaking the Cycle
I broke the cycle of addiction in my family when I began my recovery as an Adult child of an Alcoholic in my early thirties.
When I was twenty six I married the son of a missionary with a huge extended family. My first priority was to marry a man who would make a great father, someone my children could count on to support them, love them, and never, ever be violent with them. I was hugely successful.
Along came my two children, a girl and then a boy. Both of them have done very well and are living meaningful, productive lives full of love. They are hard workers, and both excel in their professions.
Middle School
But there were some rough times. When the father of my children and I divorced, my son was in middle school. I lost my central vision about that same time, and both of my children suffered. My son did not do well in school, getting sent to the Problem Solving room frequently for not doing his work or for laughing when he and his friends were scolded.
His school counselor told him he was an underachiever, and he tried to use this with me as an excuse once
“Who said you are an underachiever” I asked incredulously? Who would do such a thing? When he told me his school counselor had given him this pronouncement, I replied with a mild swear word and told him he was no such thing. What a stupid belief to plant in a twelve year old boy’s brain!
We survived middle school and when my son got into high school and band, he started getting straight A’s. He won a tuba scholarship, went off to college and graduated with a Ph. D in computer science, cryptography version.
He was hired as an intern and then as an engineer at Google. He is now a manager and will be spending three weeks in India in January to help the Google engineers there stay connected with the flagship in Mountain View, California where he works along with about two thousand others. Worldwide, Google has twenty thousand employees.
He lives in San Francisco with friends who have all graduated from Stanford or Harvard. The colleges he attended, while excellent, do not carry the weight of a Stanford or Harvard.
While in college my son started playing Ultimate Frisbee. His team went to nationals and he has been playing ever since. He met his roommates through Ultimate.
Where Do the Billionaires Come In?
One of the founders of Google plays Ultimate, and has played with the Google inter-mural team. My son broke his hand recently, and this billionaire asked someone how my son was doing. The first billionaire who knows my son’s name. Very cool!
Then, a few weeks ago, my son was visiting his girlfriend, also a Stanford graduate, who is now getting her MBA at Yale. While there, they met up with one of his roommates, whose father happens to be a billionaire or close. He got to go to their penthouse apartment with its view of Central Park and decorated with original art, of course.
Then they went out to dinner with another billionaire, the founder of Facebook, then on to a nightclub. A professional basketball star recognized the Facebook founder and came up to shake hands. My son had to explain to Facebook founder the identity of the sports icon. Hang out in this moment for a bit. Is this cool or what?
What Does This Have to Do With You?
Look where I started and where my son is. We both had a lot of support, but we both have worked hard to overcome the odds. My son had no connections which might have helped him get into a famous school, but he still got a job at Google and is doing very well indeed.
He had a night on the town in New York City most of us will only be able to dream about. He spent the next night in his girlfriend’s basement apartment eating macaroni and cheese in the shape of Toy Story characters and enjoyed it just as much — well, maybe not quite as much, but you get my point.
He is grounded and grateful and a hard worker and smart and creative. He is not even thirty and he has met at least two more billionaires than I have. And it didn’t go to his head. It was fun and cool and an interesting experience, but so is every day of his life.
No matter who you are, no matter what you were born into, transformation is always possible. We all need to step up, lean in, let go of our excuses and commit to staying in the game. If my son chooses to have children, they will have to overcome being raised in affluence and with connections. Some people thrive in this setting, but many do not. In fact, I can’t wait to talk with my son’s roommate whose family owns a penthouse in NYC and a private jet. How did he turn out so unaffected? He asks his Ultimate friends to take off their shoes when they come over for a meeting to protect the light carpet. He is no spoiled brat.
We get to make it up anew every day we wake up. We can choose to change the stories we live in if they do not serve us. So what if your father didn’t love you? How long are you going to cry before you let go and dance?
Note: this article is part of the book I am writing tentatively titled Recovery Buffet– All You Can Free. What do you think of the title? Should it be Welcome to Your Recovery Buffet–All You Can Free? or should it be Welcome to Your All You Can Free Recovery Buffet? I really want to know what you think.
The book will help people create their own daily program for recovering anything they’ve lost — joy, hope, courage,peace of mind, the ability to stand up for themselves, or perhaps even an ability to throw a party without stressing. (My husband and I are Masters at this!)
When you create your own Recovery Buffet, you can tackle any and all addiction issues, and it doesn’t matter how messy your life looks at this moment. All you need to do is have the willingness to try something new, and make a little progress every day. Progress not perfection is what matters.
This is a great segue to my WHAT MATTERS Daily Recovery Plan. (And I’d like to take moment to celebrate the word “segue,” which I learned just a few short years ago. Where had it been hiding all my life? What a great word!”
WHAT MATTERS: the “H” In WHAT stands for happiness habits.
What is a Happiness Habit?
I’m defining a happiness habit is anything we do that raises our vibration. When you practice a Happiness Habit, you will feel better immediately. Will you be cured forever of all pain and suffering? No. If that is what you want I suggest either a lobotomy or a methamphetamine addiction. I hear meth works very, very well the first time.
But that’s true for most addictions. The first time you go on a shopping binge to make yourself feel better, you do feel better. Somewhere your body says, “I felt crappy and now I feel alive and powerful! Whenever I feel bad all I need to do is shop!” We can exchange the word “shop” with, get angry, drive fast, get busier, drink, have sex, even throw five parties for your two year old.
Why do we need to develop happiness habits?
Whatever we practice we become good at, and we’re always practicing something. If we get intentional about what we practice, we take responsibility for our lives and we are no longer victims. By making the commitment to ourselves to practice one Happiness Habit every day, a habit that can take one minute or less, we are taking action to free ourselves. Happiness Habits are something anyone can do, anytime, anywhere. You’re going to have to throw your excuse of “I don’t have enough time” in the Cosmic Toilet for this one, because no matter who you are, you can always find one minute during the day to consciously shift your vibration.
I want to emphasize that though a Happiness Habit doesn’t take long to develop, it is extremely effective. I know we don’t trust things that are simple, I know we have this tendency to make everything more complicated, but truly, taking one minute a day to consciously evoke happiness will make a big difference. I dare you to try this for two weeks and tell me it isn’t helping free you to think more clearly, feel more gratitude, and absorb more beauty around you. I dare you.
Happiness Habit #1: I really love it when…
(I got this tip from Carol Look, an EFT master. You can easily find her on You Tube.)
Finish the sentence “I really love it when…” as many times as you can, putting in as many sensory details as possible.
Here is a sample list from me to juice up your imagination:
I really love it when I’m in the process of writing a book I believe in, a book I know will help thousands if not millions of people.
I really love it when I’m picking raspberries off the raspberry bushes in my backyard and they are warm from the sun and ridiculously sweet in my mouth.
I really love it when my husband and I have those moments of just putting cheek to cheek, and being completely in the moment appreciating each other.
I really love it when I start listening to a new book and I think “Yahoo! This is going to be a doozy!”
I really love it when I take warm clothes out of the dryer, and they smell so sweet and fresh and friendly.
I really love it when I get a new software program or piece of technology that makes my life easier and richer.
I really love it when it’s raining really, really hard and I’m snug and cozy by my fire, listening to the rain on the roof.
Get the idea? You can write your sentences down or say this out loud to yourself, which is a great idea. But if you’re a little shy and you’re out in public you can just look around and talk to yourself.
More examples: Grocery shopping: I really love it when I picked the right line, and I get through that checkout fast.
Driving in traffic: I really love it when there’s nothing I can do and I am forced to slow down because the traffic is so thick. I think I’ll sing along with the Black Eyed Peas. “I gotta feeling…”
The first time you go to the bathroom in the morning: the Jewish tradition has a prayer for this moment – it goes something like “ I really love it when all the pipes are working.” (I have, of course, paraphrased this blessing.)
When you start creating your own customized Recovery Buffet, you will discover the Happiness Habits that work the best for you. I have lots of suggestions, but you can start collecting your own Happiness Habits. If you already have some, I’d love to hear from you and I’ll put them in this book, giving you credit of course.
Want to give this a try for two weeks and let me know what happens? That would be cool.
♦ What if everyone can sing and there is no such thing as being tone deaf?
♦ What if people who know they can sing can learn to sing better than they ever imagined?
♦ What if stepping into our Voice changes a little bit of everything about us, setting us free to discover even more hidden treasures within us and everyone else?
With these questions in mind, nine years ago I began my odyssey to claim my most powerful, most authentic Voice.
When I turned fifty, I wrote a parody of I Feel Pretty (I Feel Fifty), which was the first time I ever wrote a song with the intention of being funny. It scared the poop out of me, but I sang it anyway. Then I auditioned for a community theater musical, which required a lot of six-part harmony. I was completely terrified all the time, though I still managed to have fun. I figured if I were terrible, it was the director’s job to stop me. My job was to walk out to the brink of destruction and sing my heart out.
From that musical I helped form a four-women singing group, and then I found Claude Stein and his Natural Singer workshop at Breitenbush Hot Springs in the Cascade Mountains of Oregon. My odyssey got even more interesting…(clothing optional in the hot springs.)
The natural beauty and serenity of the hot springs, the river, the trees, and the vegetarian fare serve as a poultice for the soul. Just being there means to be living and breathing in the song of the Earth. Throw in a massage, some yoga, and a plunge from a steaming hot pool to an icy cold one, and the alchemy begins.
A Natural Singer Odyssey
Round One
Right before I turned 51 I attended my first Natural Singer Workshop facilitated by Claude Stein, www.naturalsinger.com . The story I told about my voice at the time was that it was perhaps pretty weak. I was fairly confident I could be on pitch most of the time, but I believed I had no business singing solo.
As the workshop began, Claude asked us to write on a note card what we wanted to have happen for us during the retreat. I wrote that I wanted to learn how to sing through my break, that place where the voice shifts from the chest to the head. Sometimes this transition cracks, and I wanted to make it smooth. I was proud of myself for having recently learned the term “break.” I thought this was a good and noble goal.
What I wanted from the workshop changed as I saw people getting coached. Each person experienced a little miracle. As each person was willing to do what Claude asked them to do, they stepped more fully into their Authentic Voice. This process was always beautiful and inspiring, no matter where anybody started with their voice and their ability to match pitch.
When it came my turn to be coached, I realized I had not let myself know what I really wanted to be able to do with my voice. What I really wanted was to be able to sing like Bonnie Raitt. I believed this was impossible because I thought I had such a weak voice, such a little girl voice. I was stunned to learn that I hadn’t let myself know what I really wanted. Being in the presence of miracles is intoxicating and liberating. I was liberated right out of the limiting story I didn’t even know I was packing around.
As I stood in front of the other participants, wrapped in trembling expectancy, I asked for what I really wanted but thought impossible. I told Claude I wanted to sing like Bonnie Raitt, and we took off. Claude had me swing my hips and throw my arms out as if I were shedding off years of rust, which I guess I was.
He started playing an invented blues tune and I made up words as I walked into the audience and belted out my soul. In that moment I could have been on any stage in the world. I owned it.
I can, indeed, sing like Bonnie Raitt, and from that day forward my voice has never sounded the same.
Round Two
A few years later I came back for another dose of the Natural Singer. I was singing on stage, my own songs and other original tunes, but I didn’t feel confident about singing songs I’d heard recorded by others. I got lost in my expectations or assumptions or something. Instead of singing those songs as if I’d written them, I was looking for approval. I had not been able to shake myself out of this trap, so I asked Claude for help.
The song I chose to sing when I was getting coached was “Blue Moon”. Claude told us to not practice stopping for any reason, to sing right through our tears, and to not practice telling stories and making excuses before we sang, but just get up there and sing. Shut up and sing!
I got up and sang, but very soon I started to cry. I kept singing or rather mouthing words with no sound as I sobbed, but I did indeed not let my tears stop my singing or my life.
When I finished croaking out “Blue Moon,” Claude said, “That was the best example of not letting your tears stop you I’ve ever seen. Is there a story that goes along with this song?”
There was indeed a story that went with this song.
When I was about nine years old, I tried out for a talent show at my elementary school. I chose this song “Blue Moon” from a stack of 45’s my dad had brought home from the jukebox he owned. I asked him if he would accompany me on his guitar for the talent show, but he said no, he was too busy.
I put the record on and sang along with it over and over again. I walked around the living room, singing and memorizing the words — all by myself. I practiced and practiced until I knew all the words.
I remember very clearly standing on that stage all by myself singing “Blue Moon” a cappella. I sang it perfectly. Every note in every word was on pitch as far as I could tell.
I did not get chosen for the talent show. This is something that would never happen now-a-days, but it happened to me. I understood that a solo a cappella performance didn’t fit in with the skits and piano recitals of the other students, so I was not as devastated as I could have been. I knew I was born to be on stage.
One of the reasons I didn’t get chosen might have been that my dad, well-known in our small town as a violent alcoholic, owned a bar called the “Blue Moon”. Maybe it was just too poignant having me singing this song. The idea that they were protecting me feels better than other interpretations I could invent about this event, so I chose this story.
I told the participants of the workshop this story and Claude had me sing the song again with all the anger I could muster. I had plenty of anger and I belted it out: “Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone, you SOB. You missed out on knowing me, you idiot…” I had a great time. Then Claude had me sing the song with compassion and forgiveness, which I did. Over the years I have done much anger and forgiveness work about my dad, but there is nothing quite like singing it out in front of people who are full of compassion and appreciation. Nothing quite like it.
When I sang the song a final time, Claude stopped accompanying me on the piano when I got to the part of the song “And then suddenly appeared before me the only one my arms would ever hold. I heard somebody whisper please adore me and when I looked, the moon had turned to gold.”
During this part of the song Claude took me in his arms and danced with me, a perfect moment of healing, a perfectly inspired moment. I’ve never seen him do this with anyone else in the three workshops I’ve attended. Claude’s ability to be present with me at that moment was a gift I appreciate profoundly and is beyond my ability to articulate adequately.
For my second coaching session, I sang “Let it Be.” There was more willingness and crying on my part, more letting go, as I squeaked out the first few measures of the song. I sang the rest of the song quietly, gently, without any of the strength I had shown as “Bonnie Raitt.”
Claude told me to ask people how my singing of the song affected them, which I did at lunch. Some of them said they would never hear the song the same way again because I had affected them so deeply. “You’re kidding!” I said.
“Didn’t you think it was powerful? What did you think?” they asked me.
“I thought it was weak and boring,” I told them. I had been so sure it was weak and boring and that they had been kind to listen, kind and tolerant. That I could have affected them from such a quiet place in me was a revelation.
This taught me I could not trust my judgments about my voice. What I had thought was weak and boring other people said was powerful and true. I realized I had a lot to learn and unlearn about my voice and what I was capable of.
Round Three
A few weeks before my 59th birthday, I attended my third Natural Singer Workshop. This time my goal was to learn to trust that deep silent part inside me, letting go of everything I think I know, and then allow an expression from a deep quiet place in me. I wanted to release any more assumptions I had about what my voice was capable of expressing.
I volunteered to get coached the first morning, ready to go into the quiet, vulnerable places inside me. Walking up to the front of the room, I got ready to sing one of my favorite songs: “I am an Orphan”. As I had learned only a week earlier, from the internet no less, that my dad had died in May, I was, in fact an orphan in reality.
I cried through the singing of “I am an Orphan”, no surprise there. Then Claude asked me to sing my fears out as I finished the sentence: “I’m afraid to let you know….”
“I’m afraid to let you know I don’t know,” I sang and then cried some more. I was singing from the place in me that is open enough to not know. I was ready to let go of everything and become nothing but whoever I am called to be.
That evening we had a Master’s Class, and because Claude has emphasized that we are there to practice, not to rehearse or perform, but practice, I let myself try stuff without knowing how it would turn out.
Claude accompanied me as I sang “I Can’t Make You Love Me” sung so heartbreakingly well by Bonnie Raitt.
I let ‘er rip. I sang out from my heart and my toes. I belted it out so loudly, I thought I might injure something. I also let myself sing softly. I let all my emotion come out through each note. I owned the song and the moment, all the notes that cracked as well as the notes I could feel vibrating in my whole body.
I knew I had made an impact. The song was about me, but it was about everyone who wasn’t loved back by someone who lived deep in their bones. Afterwards one woman said I even made the heavens cry because it started raining while I was singing.
We all got to sing one final song, so I sang my revised version of “I am a Woman”. “I have climbed the banks of the Nile in the pouring rain through mud, manure, sticks and stones and bare feet without a cane…” this is a song I am not shy about singing, a song I have no doubt I can belt out to the heavens, a song I have no insecurities about.
I wasn’t sure why my intuition called to sing this song as my final song because I was at the Natural Singer Workshop to take risks not hang out in my comfort zone. After I sat down I realized the risk I took standing completely in my strength, in my bigness, in my grandeur with no apologies. I was risking making other people feel insecure or risking having people judge me that I was playing it safe or risking that people might think blah, blah, blah.
My singing this song was my taking a stand for my right to be however I am in the world at any given moment. Very cool.
My Glory Book
Claude has told me three things that I have recorded in my Glory Book, where I write down things that people have said to me that are so precious I don’t want ever to forget them. In the second workshop I sang a song I wrote called “My Mommy is in Angel”. Claude liked my song so much, he said he wished he had written it. This was huge praise to me, as I have had no formal training in songwriting and he has worked for Julliard.
In this third workshop Claude told me I walk my talk more than anyone he’s ever known. He also told me I sang parts of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” better than Bonnie Raitt. He said I was a master.
Claude’s Gift
Claude comes with an amazing skill set about the biology of voice and singing, but that’s not what makes him a great workshop facilitator. He comes with 30 years experience of giving workshops, but that’s also not what makes him a great facilitator.
I believe what separates him from the crowd is his deep understanding and commitment to focusing on what is working instead of what is wrong with people. He takes delight in progress, not demanding perfection or taking it personally when people take two steps forward and then take one step back.
What does this have to do with you?
He is not a saint. He says he likes to win and for him winning is when people free their voices. I can live with that. He struggles with his own inner voices of perfectionism, but I like this about him. He knows his ego is right there ready to jump in and take over, so he is on guard for that, and I appreciate that about him. I’ve been with people who are so sure they’re right they are not watching for their ego’s infestation from what they’re doing, and they are truly dangerous people.
Everyone can sing and everyone can write. You need to find people like Claude and quite frankly, like me, to help you feel safe enough to try new things and see what happens. When you are surrounded by people who are rooting for you, gasping at every bit of courage you show, appreciating every little sound or action that moves you forward — well, this is almost heaven and it doesn’t just happen in West Virginia.
Note: This is part of my WHAT MATTERS TODAY Reboot Camp Program. Email me if you would like to join in.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as a little white lie. Whenever we lie, no matter how small we think the lie is, we chip away at something divine and essential in our being. Whenever we lie, no matter what story we’re telling ourselves that makes the lie okay, we are losing track of the truth within ourselves.
This is why the Habit of Telling the Truth is clarifying and detoxifying at the same time. When we speak our truth, when someone says “Do you want to?” and we answer with our truth, we create a vibration of courage, honesty, and hope.
Whenever we lie, whenever we say we are “Fine” when we are not fine, whenever we say something is okay when it’s not okay, we are chipping away at our own self-esteem as well as inviting those around us to live in their Lies.
It is a big deal to lie to ourselves or anyone else.
Do we have to speak all of the truth insider of us every moment? If course not. It’s the new hairstyle we are asked to comment upon, for example, seems to us pretty dreadful, it is unkind and unwise to say as much. But we can still speak our truth without harming the person.
Sometimes this is quite a challenge, as in the example of a haircut that looks dreadful to us. When I know I’m going to be faced with a challenge to tell the truth, a truth that is not harmful, I say a Little prayer and look for the one part I can comment on positively that is true.
It might sound something like this: “I think the shorter length makes you look more youthful.” I will say this if it is true, and the resonance of the truth will vibrate, and the person to whom I am speaking will know I am telling the truth.
If the spiky, multicolored horns sticking out all over her head still look pretty dreadful to me, I will trust that she will find her way. Either that or I may change my mind at some point and decide to go spiky multicolored horns all over my head too.
Commitment to Truth Telling
What is vitally important is my commitment to speaking only my truth. Because in order to speak the truth, I have to go inside my body to find it. You will have to do that for yourself as well. How do you feel about going to that movie? What would you like to have for dinner? Do you care if someone borrows your sweater?
There is no such thing as a little white lie. Any lie we tell dissolves a holy part in us. It makes us weaker and invites us to lie even more.
The Truth Telling Recovery Program
Start with telling the truth about little things, all day long every day.
Then move onto telling yourself the truth about more difficult matters. In your journal you might ask: “What am I afraid to know right now?”
Finish this sentence several times “If I weren’t afraid, I would let myself know…”
Telling the truth is a lifelong habit. I’ve been practicing telling the truth for over 25 years, it’s easy most of the time now, but sometimes it is still a challenge. Sometimes I don’t want to know what is true because what is true for me will cause me to have to make a change, let go of the job, dissolve a friendship, disappoint myself or others, or change the focus of my business.
Gandhi is a model for me in telling the truth when it is extremely hard to do. Once he organized a march and then canceled it at the last minute, even though thousands of people had gathered, many of whom had given up their jobs to be part of the march.
When Gandhi was challenged by his followers saying he needed to stick with his commitment, he said, “I do not know the big T Truth. I only know my small t truth, and my small t truth changes. I am committed to honoring my small t truths, even when I don’t understand, even when it is inconvenient for myself or others.”
You don’t get to be able to do this kind of truth telling unless you’ve had a lot of practice. Whatever we practice we get good at, and we’re always practicing something. When we practice telling the truth every day in little ways, we can’t help but get better at it. If we practice lying every day in little ways, we can’t help but get better at lying and being disconnected from the Truth that is us.
So tell the truth all the time. It helps you remember what you said and who you really are and who you are meant to be.