A friend of mine confessed to me yesterday that he wasn’t being as successful in his business as he would like to be. “People are not responding well to my attempts to get them excited about my product,” he told me. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“If you have any judgment about the people you’re talking to,” I told him, “they will not want to listen to you. Even if you think you’re disguising your judgment very well, people know. If you think people are wrong or bad or deluded if they don’t buy your product, they won’t want to have anything to do with you.”

He admitted that he knew he was full of judgments. He admitted that these judgments were interfering not only with his business but with his relationship with his wife and children as well.

Judgment kills joy, creativity, and vitality. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz talks about judgment as a poison. When we judge ourselves, when we judge others, we fill our world with life-denying self talk and gossip. This is why the first agreement is “Be Impeccable With Your Word.” Being impeccable means we do not spew toxins on ourselves or anyone else.

But how do we rid ourselves of judgment? Slowly but surely. Once we know that judgment is not serving us or anyone else, once we learn to not trust judging, then we are on the beginning of a marvelous journey.

Sometimes people are afraid if they stop judging they will be open to anything that wants to come at them. They won’t be able to set any kind of boundary with anyone. But there is a huge difference between judgment and discernment.

For example, I discerned that this friend of mine was judging people. I’ve seen him do it. I don’t feel judgmental about his judgment. If I did feel judgmental, I would be of no use to him. If I felt judgmental, it would be all about me. I would be judging him because of some flaw in him I saw in me.

“Judge not lest you be judged,” means if we judge others we are really judging ourselves. It is an insidious poison that ruins our ability to love ourselves and others. Judging is also bad for business.

My brave friend now knows he wants to rid himself of judgment. That is a great first step. Now he needs to be listening for his own judgment of others. He needs to begin a daily regimen clearing his body and his mind of any judgments of himself and others. He could use EFT or tapping to help him with this. I could even make him a special, customized EFT audio to help him tap away his own judgments.

Here’s an especially tricky part: we don’t get to judge ourselves about being judgmental either. We don’t get to judge other people about being judgmental. We need to wrap all this judgment in a warm, fuzzy blanket, and cradle it to our chests. We need to love our judging, sing to it, and rock it to sleep. Our judging is just our way of trying to protect ourselves. That’s all.

If you would like a customized audio to help you get rid of judging yourself and others, let me know. Just e-mail me at Vicki@outrageousvisions.com. We can play with this together. Once again, this is where the rubber chicken meets the road.

Blessings,

Vicki