How many experiments did Thomas Edison attempt before he invented the light bulb? The answer, according to Wayne Dyer is 4000. 3999 times Thomas Edison tried and failed. Mistakes and failure. Mistakes and failure. How could he possibly deal with all those mistakes? All that failure?
Answer: he didn’t tell himself he was making mistakes and failing. He told himself, “I’ve learned 3999 ways how not to make a light bulb!”
The Truth About Learning Curves
If we are going to learn how to do anything important, we are going to make lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of mistakes. The sooner we get over the story that mistakes are terrible and something we need to be ashamed of, the sooner we’re going to get to enjoy basking in the glory of successes, large and small.
When I’m teaching a workshop, one of the first things I do is teach the participants not to say “I’m sorry” when they make a mistake, but to say instead “I’m sexy!” Try it for yourself right now if you can. Think of a mistake you made then either think to yourself or say to yourself “I’m sexy!”
Notice any change in how you feel? Groovy! You just learned something that could change the rest of your life.
Now making a mistake doesn’t “have” to make you feel stupid or inadequate or embarrassed. Now, making a mistake can be part of the flow of learning and even fun. This is a HUGE transformation! And you did it by just changing one little story you have been chanting to yourself.
I learned this technique at an improvisation class and it has served me well ever since. I share this technique everywhere I go, even in Bali with very shy students. The first time I taught this technique I said, “I don’t know if this will translate.” Boy, did it translate! They howled with laughter. For the days we spent together we were all very sexy indeed. If one of us forgot to say it, someone else would holler out, “You’re sexy!” We would all laugh together. Every single time. The joke never lost its appeal.
Taking Ourselves To Seriously
Here are some generalizations: we all tend to take ourselves too seriously. We all tend to think everybody else cares about our mistakes as much as we do. We all tend to think we should be able to do whatever we set out to do the first time perfectly. We do not give ourselves any time for a learning curve.
The truth about learning curves is that there always is one, no matter what we’re learning, no matter how old we are, no matter where we are. I wrote a song called “Don’t Give Up” and one of the verses says: “There’s a curve in every learning. Sometimes we’re first, sometimes we’re last. It doesn’t serve us to be yearning to be perfect. Put that in the past. Don’t give up!”
My husband Murray and I are hosting an Internet radio talk show called The Funnymooners on Real Coaching Radio Network. We are making lots of mistakes. We try not to repeat them, but we are not holding any impossible ideal that somehow we’re going to be able to do this new project perfectly the first time, or the second time, or ever.
Progress, Not Perfection
Our goal is progress, not perfection. We want to learn as we go, to laugh as we learn, and to model a relationship that works and plays.
Spread the word! Teach this to your family or your partner or your coworkers or strangers in the coffee shop. This is another simple yet transformational technique. Just by changing the story of “Oh, no!” to “Oh boy!”, you change your body chemistry, your vibration, your immune system, your brain’s ability to solve problems and your ability to absorb love.
So go out there and be sexy! If you need some more help with this, you might want to tune ain and particpate in our conversation about Owning Our Own Farts on The Funnymooners tonight. If you missed it, you can listen to the show by clicking here xxxsign up for one of my coaching programs. Check out my Coaching page at www. xxx
Blessings,
Vicki
P.S. Uncle! The spammers have found me! I have had to discontinue allowing comments on this blog because I’ve been getting up to thirty comments a day from spammers. I do want to know what you are thinking about these articles, so please email me at vicki@outrageousvisions.com.