Taking Myself Wherever I Go
Excerpt from Woman with a Voice: Daring to Live Authentically Ever After
“The advantage of telling the truth,” Fat Albert told us, “is on accounta you can remember what you said.” The advantage of taking yourself wherever you go is that you will always have someone with you that you can count on.
I Take Myself Wherever I Go
How about that?
I live from inside the truth of me
wherever I am,
whomever I’m with.
My feet are firmly planted on solid ground,
the solid ground of my belly and my deep inner listening.
Solidly planted,
but light on my feet—
that’s me.
I’m alive in my daily life,
aware of old familial patterns still stuck in my heart,
yet I fully surrender to the power of my in-dwelling God.
I take myself with me wherever I go.
I used to leave myself behind.
Going to an interview?
Leave the real me at home.
Guess at who this stranger expects
and give her that ideal applicant.
Going to dinner with new friends?
Guess what will fit into their world
without rocking it too much.
If I am a Perfect Friend,
if I can become this mythical concoction of my desperate brain,
perhaps they will include me
And I won’t die out in the cold.
Oops! I blew it again!
I misjudged.
I was too much, too unconfined.
I wake up with a shame hangover.
All is lost. I am lost.
Again.
That was then.
Now, instead of being afraid of drowning,
I prefer to swim.
I swallowed lots of salt water
before I learned how to dance atop the waves.
Mastering all these different strokes took time,
and patience,
and courage.
And I did it.
I take myself with me wherever I go,
singing like I don’t need the money,
dancing like nobody’s watching,
and loving like I’ll never get hurt.
I take myself with me wherever I go.
Want to come with me?
Your Turn
Where are you pretending in your life,
pretending you are happy,
pretending that something doesn’t bother you,
pretending that you aren’t bored out of your mind?
Keep a journal and write down every day the truth of how you are feeling
and what you are thinking. If you don’t practice telling yourself what is
authentically going on with you, you will have no chance of sharing your
real self with anyone else. If you want to take yourself with you wherever you go, you have to know who you are first.