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The Power of “Well Done”

Tuesday, April 14th, 2015

A Gift

A SONG: Well Done
from the CD Alive, Alive

I wrote this song as I was listening to keynote speaker Margarita Suarez at an Oregon Counseling Association conference. She encouraged all of us to jump off that cliff of safety and live our lives more fully. As a therapist for over thirty years, she told us that, in her opinion, the single most limiting factor in people’s lives is having never heard “well done.” She said men especially need to hear “well done, son.”

As soon as I heard these words, my inner Muse said, “That is a song!” I started writing, and at the end of the conference, as I had the group in a circle for the closing song (“It Takes a Whole Village” from my CD Alive, Alive) I heard my Muse again say, “Sing the song!”

“But I have not even sung it out loud to myself yet!” I protested.

“Sing the song!” my Muse insisted, and so I did.

After the conference, a woman came up and asked me for the words to the first verse, which was all I had completed at the time. I got a note from the woman later, telling me she had the words written in calligraphy, framed them, and given them to her son for his birthday.

I have sung this song at baccalaureates and at almost every presentation I have made for the last several years. A friend played it at her mother’s funeral. One high school class had the words to the song written in calligraphy for Mother’s Day. It is a simple song with a simple message, and it often makes people cry. I can hear Willie Nelson singing it, and I’m hoping he will want to record it. If you know him, will you ask him?

Well done, son, well done.
I love who you’ve become.
You’re just the way I hoped you’d be.
I love the man in you I see.
Well done, son, well done.

Well done, Dad, well done.
You’ve helped me to become
The best I could be; you set me free.
I love the you in me I see.
Well done, Dad, well done.

My daughter, my love, well done.
I love who you’ve become.
You’re just the way I hoped you’d be.
A woman strong, courageous and free.
My daughter, my love, well done.

Well done, Mom, well done.
You’ve helped me to become
The best I could be; you set me free.
I love the you in me I see.
Well done, Mom, well done.

Well done, friends, well done.
You’ve helped me to become
the best I could be; you set me free.
I love the truth in you I see.
Well done, my friends, well done.

Epilogue:

When I wrote this song, the verse about my father was not true. He was a violent alcoholic and I had spent much of my life cataloging the ways he had failed me. In order to make the verse “Well done, Dad, well done” come true, I had to change my focus. When I stopped looking at how my dad had failed me and looked for the gifts he had given me I found he had passed on three very important qualities: his love of singing, his love of performing, and his smile.

My dad died in May of 2010. None of his three children or his seven grandchildren were with him. No one called to tell me of his death; I found out about it while searching the internet several months later.

“Well Done” helped me heal my relationship with my father in spirit. I forgave him and then forgiveness became a moot point. When I stopped being hurt and angry, I could see his cruelty as woundedness. He was responsible for his actions, and he was a deeply flawed human. He did not love me because he did not know how to love, not because I was not lovable.

Well done, Vicki, well done.

Be extra special kind yourself today, okay?

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A Phoenix Rises from the Ashes: New World Catalyst is Born

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

Recently I got an e-mail from a concerned friend, asking me if I am okay. I think she’s been reading some of the articles I’ve been writing lately about how I almost killed my Goose that Lays the Golden Eggs and how I was in the process of a Shamans Death.

We mortal humans have a river of emotions flowing through us, and when we allow all of our emotions to flow through, no matter how uncomfortable they are, one feeling leads to another. Even when a sharp stick is in the flow, if we trust the process and let ourselves allow our feelings to flow through us without judgment, the broken branches will naturally move down river.

A Sharp Emotional Stick

In April I ended my relationship with the business coach I had worked with for over six months. This was a mutual decision, and it was a great decision for me. In my attempt to try to learn how to market and sell myself, I wore myself out and lost touch with the beauty that is in me.

Allowing the grief to flow through, letting myself wonder if I were a coward and a quitter, I released everything. I let go of everything I thought I knew about what I was supposed to do in the world, and how I needed to do it.

This was uncomfortable sometimes, but I trusted it, even when I didn’t trust it.

New World Catalyst

Because I emptied myself out, even emptying myself of self-confidence, a space was created in me. This space allowed me to have a Big Idea, an idea which allows me to give the best I have to offer in the place the world needs it most.

My Big Idea came to me, note that I did not seek it, when I was preparing to go to Portland to teach a week-long class to teachers, which I do every summer for The Innovative Northwest Teacher. I usually stay with a dear friend who I met when I was a Distinguished Oregon Educator. We sat next to each other in a large room at the Oregon Department of Education, and we laughed too much and got shushed often.

She told me a good friend of hers had just gotten hired as the superintendent of a K-12 new international school in Nigeria. “You two have got to talk!” She said.

What if Schools Prepared Students to Work for Google?

“What would I do if I had a new school to play with?” I wondered. A Big Idea appeared about how I could design a program that would teach character, courage, initiative, and responsibility throughout the curriculum, and connect to the 21st century in the most glorious, human way. Students would create curriculum that was alive and relevant. Rigor, relevance, and relationships! A school based on how our brains work and what the human heart craves! Cowabunga!

Ahh, the power of simply asking a Question!

The answer came to me, like a deer, a little idea wonders into an open meadow of the brain. If I could play with an entire school system, I would have students do more and teachers do less. I would have students focus on one word each grade level, such as friendship in kindergarten. Science experiments studying friendship could be set up, the kids could keep track of friendship, produce videos, write stories, draw pictures, create calendars–in short, students creativity could become the engine of the school.

We could repeat the study of friendship in sixth grade, when students certainly need to take another look at what it means to be a friend. “You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but you do have to be friendly to everyone.” Wow! What a great motto for sixth grade.

I decided to have a curriculum description that was only two pages long. If Apple can create a manual for the new iBook that is only two pages long, certainly I could create a simple, easily understandable, yet profound system to revolutionize education. Nobody needs eight more notebooks of curriculum sitting on the shelves.

And I already know how to do this! I know how to get kids and teachers excited about writing, transforming reluctant writers into eager writers in one session. I know how to transform a school that is full of bullying behavior into a school that leads with kindness and courage. I’ve done it. I’ve done it all over the world.

Synchronicity at Work

As it happens, another good friend of my friend in Portland was just hired as the head of CEESA, the Central European International School Association. This Association had invited me to be a keynote speaker in 2006 in Prague. I’ve known her for years and she needs to build a conference. How cool is that?

I decided to contact a good friend of mine, Paul Poore, of the South American International Association. I met him when I was presenting for the African Association for International Schools when he gave a speech because he had been selected as International Head of the Year. He has the heart and mind and the respect of the International School Association that I needed to help me move my Big Idea forward.

We talked for about an hour and he told me my timing couldn’t be better. The international school conferences now are all about schools of the future. He gets me, he gets this Big Idea, and he has the connections to help make it happen worldwide. He tentatively invited me to speak at the March 2012 ASSA conference in Quito, Chile.

Meanwhile, my son Martin, who works at Google, has agreed to pass on Paul’s invitation to Google to speak at the same conference.

What does this have to do with you?

If you have something that the world needs, and you wouldn’t be reading this unless you did, I’m hoping my story will give you the encouragement you need to step up, lean in, ante up, let go of all your excuses, and create the support you need to stay in the game. I just happen to write a song about this, and I’m including it as a gift in this week’s newsletter.

I’m putting a brochure together for New World Catalyst: Education for the Future–Now! If you are interested in this, let me know, I need all the help I can get transforming education worldwide.

Is that a big enough idea, or what? Does it sometimes scare the piss out of me? Yes, it does.

Blessings,

Vicki Hannah Lein

P.S. The spammers are still winning, so I can’t allow comments on my blog. If you would be so gracious as to comment, please email me at vicki@outrageousvisions.com.

Posted in green education, living your purpose, Outrageous Visions | Comments Off on A Phoenix Rises from the Ashes: New World Catalyst is Born

Kicking the Dinosaur of Doubt Out

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Last summer, while in the beautiful city of Vancouver BC, I made a Vow.

The last time I made a Vow was when I was about 10 years old and I looked around my family and saw violence, alcohol abuse, and despair. I made a sacred Vow to myself that I would not re-create this family.

I kept that Vow. There was never any doubt that I would do whatever it took to get myself an education, and break the cycle of addiction and codependency that has held my family captive for generations.

This first Vow was for myself and my as yet uncreated family. My second Vow is for myself and my global family. My work with the Bali Institute of Global Renewal has given me a glimpse of how I might be able to use my gifts to change the world in a way I would never have been able to imagine for myself when I was that little girl of 10, deciding to take on the challenge of breaking the cycle of addiction in my family.

I made this new Vow last July when I was at a workshop presented by two dear friends of mine, Donny and Kirk. In four days they created a place where people could heal on a deep level. The energy and the vision they created for this temporary family was so magnificent, it inspired me to make a decision.

I committed to doing whatever it takes, spending whatever it takes, to create a first class team for my world-class business, a business that is committed to helping people get in touch with the deepest, wisest, juiciest, most courageous part of themselves, so they can go out into the world in the most magnificent way possible.

The result of making this Vow was the creation of my new business: Outrageous Visions: See Who You Are Meant to Be. My work takes me all over the world, providing workshops to help people sing, speak, write, and live without fear. In April I’m inaugurating my new club: Vicki’s Outrageously Alive Club. With my travel, and speaking, and retreats, I will have a limited time left over to work with private clients.

So these private clients need to be Special. And by Special I mean people who are feeling a deep call to work with me, and have a willingness and readiness to do the work and the play necessary to free themselves from their limiting beliefs and bad habits. When we are free, we can stride deeper and deeper into the world, determined to become who we are meant to become. (That is a paraphrase of a Mary Oliver poem.)

If you know enough now to know that you want to apply to be one of my few private clients, click here to fill out the application. You are not making a commitment; you are following the deep truth that is within you. Fill out the application, and then we will chat. If you feel we are a good fit and this is the right time and this is what you are called to do, then I will ask you to make a three-month commitment to coach with me. Quite honestly, I don’t want to mess around with people. And it takes time to make big, deep changes.

Here’s what I offer my clients:

• The best of me, including all my experience, my courage, my intelligence, my creativity, my compassion, my enthusiasm, and my intrepidness.

• My wicked sense of humor. I can almost always find a funny way of dealing with an old, sticky problem that has you discouraged and defeated. Here is a Visionary Voice Message I created after a particularly bad day dealing with technology. And let me just say, I love my Macintosh computer, and technology is what keeps me connected to the world. But on this particular day technology was no fun.

• Because I am a little psychic, let’s just get it out there, I am able to envision for my clients a future that is more magnificent than they are able to do. I’m not forcing any agenda on people. It’s more like I hold back the branches on the path, so you can see more clearly where it is you need to go, in order to get to the beautiful meadow that’s been waiting for you all along.

• Because of my experience as a high school teacher, an elementary school counselor, a performer, a drug and alcohol counselor, a grief counselor, an employee assistance counselor, a parent educator, I am able to help you untangle an area of specific problems in your life.

• Because of the obstacles and challenges I’ve had to deal with in my life, I know how to take on anything that gets in your way, and transform it into Joy Fuel.

• I know how to inject fun into almost any situation. And fun is not a four letter word. When we are having fun, we are full of more energy, we have an ability to solve problems better, we increase our immune system, and we attract happy people.

I want you to check in with yourself right now. Are you feeling a resonance with what I’m saying? If so, click here now to apply to be a private client of mine. If you are hearing a resonance and you say no to the resonance, then you’re not a good client for me right now. I want to work with people who are willing to listen to the truth that is in them, and willing to take the next step, and the next step, and the next step. I want to work with people who want a Coach for Life, someone who knows them, knows the terrain of their lives, and always holds the best and highest vision for their lives.

So if you want to work with me, if you have an inkling or nudge that you want to apply to be one of my few private clients, fill out an application and then we’ll set up a time to talk. It is important that we are a good fit. It is important that you make at least a three month commitment to work with me. I charge $497 a month paid in advance. This may seem like a lot of money to some, and hardly enough money to others. So be it.

Here’s the thing I have learned about money: when you set an intention, when you decide to do something, and I mean really decide to do it, the money will come. Money is magic that way. If you are hearing a clear call inside you, you may even be a little teary as you read this, then you need to commit to manifesting the glory that is within you. And part of that commitment is feeling that you are worth it. You deserve to have great coaching, and I am a fantastic coach.

Don’t think about it. If you are feeling a resonance with what I’ve written, apply now. Your applying is not a commitment. Filling out the application form is just the next step in finding out if this is truly a good fit for you. If it is, great, if it isn’t, the application form is going to give you more information about yourself. There’s no way to lose.

I’m going to paraphrase Marianne Williamson here. Say this aloud as you read it:

My deepest fear is not that I’m inadequate.
My deepest fear is that I’m powerful beyond measure.
I ask myself, “Who am I to be brilliant, talented, abundant, living a life I’d love, making a huge difference in the world, feeling happy for no reason?”
Actually, who am I not to be? I am a child of God.
My playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about my shrinking so that I don’t make other people feel insecure.
I was born to make manifest the glory of God that is within me.
And it’s not just in me, this glory is in every one I know, every one I’ll meet every day for the rest of my life.
As I let my light shine I unconsciously give permission to other people to do the same.
As I free myself from my fear my presence automatically frees others.

Click this here to get a recording of me saying this.

Please say it along with me every day. My job right now is to help you make a decision. Deciding to put off a decision, deciding not to even fill out my application now, is a :No.” Saying “No” is okay for sure if that is your truth, but don’t practice kidding yourself. You either learn to trust the deep wisdom inside of you and act on it, or you kid yourself. If you are kidding yourself and you want somebody to bust you for it, that would be Me!

Want to apply to be a private client? Click here.

Bless you on your journey,

Vicki

Tags: commitment, courage
Posted in living your purpose, Outrageous Visions, Taking A Stand For FUN | Comments Off on Kicking the Dinosaur of Doubt Out