Some of you may be unfamiliar with the Greek myth of Apollo and Daphne. Here’s the short version:  Apollo chases, Daphne runs. The more of  Apollo chases, the more Daphne runs.  this is a simplistic view of the myth, but for my purposes, I’m using this bare bones interpretation.

What does this have to do with marketing? If you don’t know, I can’t explain it to you.

For the last year, I have been trying to market myself with integrity and effectiveness. The integrity part I have nailed. The effectiveness part  I’m still chasing.

For the last year I’ve been in a bit of a frenzy, even though I am committed to having fun every day. For the last year I’ve been Apollo. The more I chase the elusive Daphne/client, the more she seems to run.

Or at least that’s how it’s felt. I have gotten new clients this year. I have gotten speaking gigs. I am writing a weekly e-zine that I am enormously proud of. I am creating what I’m calling Visionary Voice Messages on a regular basis and finding that process meaningful and satisfying.

But still I have been waking up every day feeling chaste as well as being the chaser. This is tremendously unsatisfying and “unfun.”

Since I am committed to Fun, I knew I would figure out a way to live my life and not be in frenzy, overwhelmed and constantly feeling chaste and  exhausting myself by  chasing. Yesterday I figured it out.

Daphne Day

Yesterday I decided to be Daphne. Yesterday I realized that I have been Apollo on crack for the last year and generic Apollo for about eight years before that. I thought I had to be Apollo. I thought I had to be taking action moving, going after. (This feels very mail as I  describe it.) I think that’s what I thought I had to be–male. Or at least I had to “build my business”, which is also more male language, by taking action, pursuing, doing.

But yesterday I decided to stop being Apollo and start being Daphne. I declared  yesterday Daphne Day. I’ve lost myself in this chronic Apollo seeking behavior, and so when I asked myself what I wanted to do I didn’t really know anymore.

But Daphne knows. Daphne knows just what she wants to do. And, as it turns out,   Daphne isn’t running from anything either. Apollo may be chasing her, but she doesn’t care.

Daphne has no agenda except pleasing herself. She doesn’t feel she should or ought to do anything in particular. If she feels like writing, which she feels like doing right now, she writes. If she feels like doing Pilates, she does Pilates. If she feels like staying home and lying in a hammock and listening to a book on tape, she does it.

Daphne doesn’t care if she’s invited to the party because Daphne is the party. If she comes upon a party and it’s fun, she’ll go and stay as long as she feels like it. She doesn’t care if people  notice if she leaves or not.

Daphne doesn’t care about other people’s opinions about her or about anything else for that matter.  Daphne enjoys being herself and feels beautiful all the time. She dances, she giggles, she laughs out loud–and she’s wicked every now and then.

Daphne did the laundry yesterday, and cleaned up the kitchen, and listen to a book on tape, and then didn’t go to Pilates because she didn’t feel like it. Daphne was enormously happy all day long.

She answered e-mail when she felt like it and stopped when she felt like it. She took naps, she talked with friends, she watched So You Think You Can Dance.  she drank a delicious gin and tonic.

Daphne did whatever she wanted to yesterday. I like being Daphne so much yesterday, I decided to be Daphne today too.

My Helping Addiction

Daphne doesn’t care if she helps people or not. If she feels like helping people she will. Daphne doesn’t care what other people are doing. She is busy amusing herself from one moment to the next.  She doesn’t care about outcomes.

Daphne feels beautiful all day long, connected to the world, connected to herself, and is not connected to any Agenda. Daphne is free.

I am so glad to have Daphne as my new best friend. I don’t even know if I like her, but I sure like being her. And I sure trust her when I ask her, “what do you want to do right now, Daphne?” She always knows what she wants to do, and always enjoys what she is doing.

Apollo would try to start a movement here, but Daphne doesn’t care. Oh, the freedom of not caring so much  every single minute about every single thing!

Blessings,

Vicki

P.S.  I love comments, but the spammers are better than the filter for this blog.  You can always email me with your comments, vicki@outrageousvisions.com, and I really appreciate it when you take the time to let me know what you are thinking.

Is it ever okay to divorce a family member–a mother, father, brother sister, or your cousin, aunt and uncles– or even your child?

Yes.

Is this an action to be taken lightly, as an act of revenge or petulance?

No.

Some Vocabulary

I believe that sometimes the healthiest option for all concerned is to fire or divorce a family member.  To do this, it helps to understand why it can be so difficult and why normal methods of talking and compromising don’t work.

Divorcing or firing a family member is a radical solution and should not be done out of anger. But I believe our first commitment is to love ourselves well, so that we can love others well, and love the world well. We cannot love ourselves well or anyone else well if we’re constantly being abused psychologically, physically, or spiritually.

Each of us is like a lovely, unique flower. If we got planted at birth next to a fountain of acid, we will never grow well. We get to replant ourselves into soil that nourishes us, and to the kind of sunlight that makes us grow healthy and strong. Some people are committed to their pathology, bless their hearts. But we can choose whether or not we want to continue to be the object of their pathology.

If you choose to fire or divorce a family member, you can count on being judged and misunderstood, but I can promise you you’re going to feel a surge of energy, relief, and even a giddiness at the new world you have created.  “Free at last! Free at last!  Thank God I’m free at last!” will about sum it up.

To paraphrase Marianne Williamson, “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking under someone else’s ridicule, shaming, bullying or any other form of abuse. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. You’re taking a stand for your being Sacred Space is the best way you can serve the world.”

So, how do you tell if a family member needs to get fired or divorced?

Apples versus Onions

Most people are Apples. They have a core. When you ask them, “How do you think that makes Sally feel?” they go inside themselves, find their empathy, and connect to the human condition. They feel bad for what they have done and want to do what they can to make things right.  They have a conscience.

A few people are Onions. They have no center. How other people feel is irrelevant to them. They are narcissists or sociopaths–other people are characters in their Life Drama in which they are the Star. They care about pain all right–their pain. Their pain is very real and very important. Your pain, on the other hand, is at most an irritation, an irrelevancy.  They have no sense of shame, no conscience.

Onions usually do not change no matter what kind of help they get.  I am always open to the possibility of healing, but to hope for healing in these people instead of protecting yourself from them will keep you in harm’s way, for a lifetime if you allow it.

Borderline Personality Disorder

People who are dealing with Borderline Personality disorder, mostly women, are suffering from a black hole of need in their belly. Nothing is ever enough. If you buy them a nice set of dishes for Christmas, it’s the wrong kind of set of dishes–the wrong color, the wrong style, from the wrong company. Your present, intended to make them feel loved or cared for, actually proves to them that they are unloved. You have failed them again.

But you will always fail them. You can never win. You can accommodate, which only makes them worse, only kindles their voracious need.  But you cannot heal them by pouring your life energy into their black hole.  They will only get angrier at your failure to heal their wound.

It is always everyone else’s fault, never the fault of the person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder.  They always look outward at the cause of their suffering, never inward.  They throw temper tantrums and make scenes and expect the world to cater to their demands. They can be enormously charming, though, so they get away with it.

People are either wonderful or despicable to someone suffering from this disorder. You can go from being wonderful to being despicable in a heartbeat. We can be with someone who is suffering from a borderline personality disorder and they will feel mistreated by a clerk, a nurse, a gas pump attendant, and suddenly you will be embroiled in a self-righteous screaming display.

Most professional therapists will only take on one client who is suffering from Borderline Personality disorder because they are energy vampires. I know this sounds very harsh and it is, but this is why Energy Vampires get away with sucking the life and confidence out of those they are around.  We have to get very fierce indeed to take a stand for our right to be treated as Sacred Space at all times.

I don’t think anyone wakes up, looks in the mirror, and says, “Today I will be an Energy Vampire.”  But that is what they do and you have a right to not play with them anymore, whether they are a family member or not –especially if they are a family member.

Vicki’s Rules for Protecting Your Sacred Space

#1 If your Sacred Space, your sacred emotional, physical, or spiritual space, is continually violated, even though you have made numerous requests for better treatment, you get to fire this family member. In fact, if you let people practice being abusive and if you let yourself practice being abused, you are doing no one a good turn. What you do matters, and you’re always doing something. If you’re allowing the abuse, you are taking energy away from love, compassion, forgiveness, and appreciation. These latter feelings are what change the world for the better.

#2 If you feel contracted, belittled, anxious, or insecure around someone, you have the right to take yourself out of that situation and consider what action would be best for you to take to protect your Sacred Space.

#3 You do not have to go to anybody’s birthday party, anybody’s wedding, any holiday meal, on any family reunion, or on any vacation just because the people who invited you are family members. You get to choose whether you want to go or not. You get to tell the truth.  You get to say: “Right now the best thing I can do for myself is stay home. I wish you all well. Tell me how it all went when it’s over.”

#4 You don’t have to be clear about why you want to go or why you don’t want to go. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You just get to say “no” period to people who want to bully you into an explanation, or people you get to decide you don’t want to hang around with anymore.

#5 You get to grow up. You get to change. The labels put on you when you’re a child get to be removed. You get to decide whether something is funny or not. The joke is only a joke if no one has to pay for it. If you’re paying for someone else’s joke, it is a thinly disguised act of aggression.

#6 If you feel you have to walk on eggshells around someone, something is terribly wrong. If you are dealing with an Apple, you can tell them, “I’m feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around you.” An Apple will say, “Really? I don’t want you to feel like that! Tell me more.” Someone with borderline personality disorder will probably start screaming at you. Then you’ll know what you are dealing with and you can make choices to protect your Sacred Space.

This is tricky stuff. I have not begun to cover this subject adequately in this article, but I do want to help you entertain the idea that just because someone is a family member doesn’t mean they have a green light to come in and tromp all over your self-esteem, your dreams, and your divinity.

Should I do a teleseminar on this subject? E-mail me and let me know. vicki@outrageousvisions.com

Firing or divorcing some of my family was the hardest and wisest thing I have ever done. I do not regret it for a moment, though sometimes I know I have been judged and misunderstood. Oh, well.

Blessings to you and those you love, whether they love you back well or not,

You and I Can Ruin Anything

If people can use, “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” as an excuse to burn people at the stake, then people can ruin anything. “Love thy neighbor as thyself” seems fairly ambiguous to me. It does not come with asterisk. This command from Jesus does not say, “Love people who are easy to love, people just like you, but go ahead and hate people who are different. Go ahead and blow them up, cover them with stones and let them be crushed to death.”

So if we can ruin something so simple and so clear, we flawed human beings can ruin anything.

For example, one would think people who do yoga regularly would be living in the flow. Yet I have known yoga teachers who were anxiety ridden, perfectionist, full of self-hate, and yoga bullies. Doing yoga regularly does not inoculate us against life.

Let me be clear: I love doing yoga. Yoga loves me. I even wrote a song about yoga: “Yoga makes me feel alive. Yoga improves my muscle tone. When I’m breathing doing yoga, I am in my body and completely at home.” I have known many, many lovely yoga teachers who do live in the flow.  This article is not about them.

Taking an Emotional Shower Every Day

I have recently discovered EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique. Jack Canfield calls it psychological acupuncture. I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years, and EFT is one of the best techniques I have ever used. Brad Yates, whose EFT videos I watch regularly, says that EFT is like taking an emotional shower every morning. We brush our teeth, we wash our hair, but we don’t regularly clear out our emotions. EFT is great for keeping our emotions soft and flowing.  I’ve been comparing EFT to rust removing spray.  Using EFT regularly keeps our emotions soft and easy to wash off.  Otherwise, we get crusty and it is more difficult to get to our shiny greatness underneath.  (Okay, I was a literature major. I love metaphors.)

But just as with anything else, we can ruin the EFT. If people are afraid to feel their emotions, they can use EFT as an escape from the messiness of grieving and loss. instead of using EFT as a tool we can use it to help ourselves free ourselves from emotional patterns that keep us trapped, people can ruin the EFT by seeing it as a way to avoid dealing with the ephemeral nature of our lives, the fragility of our lives, and the big truth we want to avoid: we are all going to die.

The Law Attraction Can Be Misused

And lastly, people can even ruin the Law of Attraction. Just as religion is corrupted into a form of control, using fear to manipulate people to vote for who they want, the Law of Attraction can be corrupted into a way of controlling our future and everyone around us. Nothing is impossible according to the Law of Attraction. But have you seen anyone regenerating any arms lately? Have you seen anyone flying around the world without a plane? Of course not.

The Law of Attraction can be misused as a way to try to be perfect, to try to avoid the messy work of grieving and loss, a way to control everything. Just as when we use religion to bargain our way to safety, allowing us to get mad at God when we lose the game or we get cancer, we are disappointed when we cannot manipulate the world with the Law of Attraction. (I want that Lamborghini and I want it now!)

Let me be clear: I believe the Law of Attraction works. I just believe that surrendering is better than trying to control everything. I believe that Divine Right Action is at work. I believe that my having a rare genetic disease, a disease which they can trace back to the family in Ireland that first mutated the gene, a disease for which the genetic marker was discovered from research on my family — I don’t believe my getting this disease was any kind of mistake.

Living the Mystery

I don’t believe I am being punished because I do not want to see the truth in my life. I believe glib formulas of “Oh, you broke your foot, so I know that means you are afraid to step out into the world” are ways for the speaker to feel he or she has a control that does not exist for human beings.  It might be true that you broke your foot because you are afraid to step out into the world.  But let’s have a little more humility and a little less arrogance around this phenomenon, shall we?

Joseph Campbell said that life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived. I much prefer the surprise and delight and struggle of learning to live the mystery of my life. I much prefer to believe that when the challenge comes my way it is a gift ready for me to unwrap and discover. It is not a punishment.

I am not saying that people who talk about the Law of Attraction are corrupt. I am not saying that the Law of Attraction is corrupt. I am saying we can ruin anything. Our need to be perfect, which is really our need to be safe and loved, corrupts everything it touches.

Wow! What now? So if we could ruin anything, what are we to do now? That’s easy: laugh at ourselves. We are very funny, we human beings. Aren’t we just hilarious in that way we try to control everything and then give it a spiritual face? We are hysterically funny! Let’s forgive ourselves immediately. Let’s forgive each other immediately. Let’s not take ourselves so seriously.

I, for example, am committed to finding where the rubber chicken meets the road.

Blessings,

Vicki

The other day I woke up in a pit of discouragement. I don’t like feeling discouraged; in fact, I hate feeling discouraged. So when I’m feeling discouraged, I’m not only feeling discouraged, I’m feeling like I’ve let myself and the world down. How about that for a ridiculous thought?

Just as I’ve said fear isn’t the problem, being afraid of being afraid is the problem, and shame isn’t the problem, being ashamed of being ashamed is the problem–discouragement isn’t the problem, being discouraged about discouragement is what will keep us discouraged.

I am a motivational, transformational speaker. My job is to encourage people at all times in all places–or at least that’s how I define my job when I’m discouraged. When I’m not discouraged, I know my job is to show up, tell the truth, be willing, surrender, and be ready to be transformed by whatever is happening to me. I’m not contracting with myself, with The Universe, or with you to always be joyful, positive, and encouraging. I’m a human being. I cannot promise to always be joyful.

I can promise to be a person who is willing to be alive and real every day, a person who knows that fun is a spiritual practice, and that when I surrender to whatever is happening to me, fun is usually just around the corner.

I woke up feeling discouraged because I was thinking these thoughts: I’ve been putting out a lot, and not much is coming back my way. This is not the truth. The truth is I’m putting out a lot and a lot is coming back my way, just not as fast as I would like in my toddler, temper tantruming brain.

Yesterday, when I finally realized I was afraid and even ashamed of being discouraged, I let myself sink in to discouragement without trying to beat it away. As soon as I did this, I realized the truth was I was tired of mustering. I get to be tired of mustering and I get to rest. I get to rest in whatever way I want to rest, which might include watching movie after movie, and So You Think You Can Dance. My recovery gets to look anyway it looks.

I’m reminded of the first part of John Bunyan’s book The Pilgrims Progress. He wrote this when he was in jail in the 17th century. It’s about the journey of Christian. I think it is a great story about anyone who sets out on a path of mindfulness–of being awake and connected to the soul and the journey of the soul.

The first thing that happens to Christian is he falls in the Slew of Despond. The first Thing! He’s barely on the path and the first thing he does is fall into a pit. This sucks.  This is not fair. this is, however, how it is sometimes.

He’s sinking in the pit, thrashing around trying to get himself out, probably beating himself up and telling himself some bad things about himself or about life. He thrashes and sinks and thrashes and sinks until finally he surrenders a bit and goes down into the pit a little deeper than was comfortable.

Once he lets himself go a little deeper into, oh, let’s say the feeling of discouragement, his feet find solidity. He’s still up to his chin in muck, but he is no longer sinking. His surrendering to the sinking has allowed him to find solidity. How about that?

As soon as he finds some solid footing, again with the muck up to his chin, along comes Hope. Hope reaches out to Christian, and Christian must reach out and accept help in order to get out of the muck.

Let me review:

First, Christians starts out on a big journey and the first thing that happens is he falls into a pit. Second, he thrashes around and wears himself out. Third, he finally surrenders to the feeling, even though he’s very scared that he’s going to sink and drown. Fourth, once he surrenders he finds solid ground, though he is still up to his eyeballs in muck. Fifth, now that he has quit thrashing around he is offered Hope, but he must reach out and accept the help offered in order to get out of the muck.

Surrendering is Not Giving Up

I surrendered yesterday to my feeling of discouragement, and found some solid ground in knowing that I was simply tired of mustering. I get to get tired of mustering. When I quit thrashing about and hurting myself, my husband reached out to me with his incredible soulfulness and wisdom. I reached back and accepted his help. He gave me the attention and perspective I needed to help me hose myself off and get back on my feet again.

I don’t have to muster today if I don’t want to. Because I don’t’ have to muster today, I’ve mustered today.  So far today I’ve contacted someone who offered to help me set up a workshop in Hawaii. (Want to come?)  I also talked with a coaching client, I wrote a description of a new product I’m putting together and sent it to my Virtual Assistant, and I’ve written this article. Oh, I also washed my hair.

It’s now 11 AM. I think I’m better, but I don’t have to be better if I don’t want to be.

Discouragement does indeed suck. But I don’t have to be afraid of it. I don’t have to be afraid of feeling any way I’m feeling.

And neither do you.

Blessings,

Vicki

Did you know you can’t cash a check if it has blood on it?  Want to know how I found that out?

My intention is to always honor the inklings and nudging that I hear. I don’t want the Universe to have to dial up the volume to get my attention. I practice trusting my listening; and I teach people to listen and honor what they hear. A few days ago I was reminded, with a bit of gore, about why this listening is so important.

Here’s the story:

I drink Body Balance, a sea vegetable and aloe product of a company I respect called Life Force. Since I started drinking Body Balance three years ago this month, I’ve only been sick once, and for only a few days. I used to get three or four colds per year, so this is a big deal for me.

Life Force has an energy drink which has no junk in it and is actually good for you called True Boost. It’s peach flavored, and it makes me feel good so I drink it regularly.

Unfortunately, the pull tabs on the top of the bottles are not meant for mere mortals to peel off. Most of the time, I have to break the seal to open the bottle. Most of the time, I am smart about this process.

Okay, this is where I get stupid.

For some reason, I chose the other day to pick a sharp paring knife to try to break the seal on a True Boost bottle. This is obviously a bad idea. I banged on the top of the bottle and the knife bounced off. I think this made me a little mad, and a little stupid.

I banged on the top of the bottle again, and yet again my knife bounced off ineffectually. I downshifted into a Crazed Determination to Break the Seal.

Then I heard in my head a voice that said loudly and clearly, “Don’t do this! This is dangerous! Stop it!”

This was not a subtle inkling or a tiny whispery voice — this voice was as loud and clear as if someone were standing behind me.

I ignored the voice, and plunge the knife down one more time, slicing into my left thumb. I swore, through everything somewhere, stuck my bleeding thumb in my mouth, and rush to the bathroom to tend to my wound.

I should have known by how much it hurt when I put my thumb under the water faucet how bad my wound was, but I didn’t. I thought it was one of those cuts where you put some pressure on it for a while, it stops bleeding, then you put a Band-Aid on it and vow you never to do anything stupid with the knife again.  Obviously, this was not my first run-in with a knife in the kitchen.

This was 9:20 AM and I had an appointment at a bank at 10 AM, a one-day only special deal where if I opened up a business account I would get $100. There was no way I was going to miss this appointment. It’s about a half an hour walk from my house, but I have an umbrella, and I thought all I had to do was put a little pressure on my thumb and all would be well.

I’m laughing at myself by this time, shaking my head in wonder that I ignored a warning I heard so clearly. Are we human beings funny or what?

I stuff the folder of all the papers I needed at the bank in my vest, tucked an umbrella under one arm, and put pressure on the wad of toilet paper I had over my cut on my thumb.  Ready, set, walk to the bank!

When my folder jumped out from under my vest, spreading my papers out all over the sidewalk, I laughed again. This had to be funny because it was happening so it might as well be funny.

It was funny because I could see myself: here I am with this bloody bit of toilet paper on my thumb, umbrella under my arm, walking to the bank for this appointment, and my papers go all over the sidewalk. It might as well be funny because it is.

I am legally blind and I could not see how bad my cut was. This is important information for the next part of the story.

I get to the bank a little early, so I decide to cash two checks. I walk up to the window and tell the bank teller that I cut my thumb. I’m legally blind, so I don’t know how badly wounded I am. Could I go to the bathroom and take a look at it with the teller?

My guess is they don’t get asked to do this very often. But they were very cheerful and kind about it and when two tellers and I got to the bathroom and I pulled off the bloody toilet paper there was a slight intake of breath as one of the tellers said, “Ooo. This is very deep. You need to go to urgent care.”

Insert swear word here.

Well, this was just not what I had planned for the day. I washed my thumb, and put a new wad of toilet paper on it, put pressure on it and went back out to cash my checks. I am a determined person.

Unfortunately I couldn’t see that I did not have all the blood washed off my hands, so when I signed my check I got blood on it. As it turns out, there’s a policy with this bank that they will not accept checks with blood on them.

I thought this was very funny. “You mean you’ve had so many checks with blood on them you had to formulate a policy about it?” Now I started thinking the hazmat team would be in any moment to drag me off.

Here I am with blood all over my hands, possibly blood on my face because I did suck my thumb when I  first cut it, and I can’t see, so I might even look like a vampire. I try not to bother people, but I am bleeding all over the bank. I am causing trouble and I am out of control.  Messy, messy, messy — definitely not perfect at all.

But I am at least cheerful. Believe it or not, I got my bank account, without leaving blood on anything else as far as I know. I was then thanked for my patients. Are you kidding me? I said to the bank clerk, “My patience? You’re the one who’s patient.”

I called a friend who took me to urgent care and had my 1 inch wound glued together. It could have been so much worse, the doctor told me.  I could have cut through a joint, or sliced off a chunk of meat, or needed stitches.  Lucky, lucky, lucky I was.

Here’s the point.

• Every day we are given invitations to listen to a higher wisdom, a deeper truth that lives inside of all of us.

• Every day we choose to lean in and trust or to contract in fear and anger.

• Every time we don’t listen to our inner Knowing, overwriting it because of a petulant sense of urgency or because we don’t want to look foolish, we are inviting pain into our lives.

• Every time we don’t Listen, we are apt to end up bleeding some of our life energy into situations we have created.

Do I believe I was punished because I didn’t listen? No — an emphatic no! I believe that gravity exists and that if I don’t pay attention to where I’m walking and how I pick up my feet, I am more likely to trip over something and fall down. Gravity is not picking on me. This is the natural order of things, the deal I made with the universe when I was born.

The idea of punishment is too patriarchal, to Newtonian, and not very interesting to me.

The idea that I am being invited all day long every day to listen and trust a deeper wisdom within me makes me feel loved and cared for. If I choose to ignore this love and wisdom that is always there for me, then something is going to happen to help recalibrate me. This isn’t because the Universe is vengeful and punishing; this is because if you live off key your life will reflect your not being in tune.

I started the day. I almost sliced off the meat of my thumb not being able to get in touch with appreciation and gratitude. My life is rich in all ways, and if I’m not able to feel gratitude, I’m definitely out of alignment with the truth of my life.

After I sliced into my thumb, blood all over my kitchen and my bathroom and a bank, I was deeply in touch with Gratitude. I will probably have a scar on my thumb, a scar most likely I will not be able to see. I hope I will be able to feel it. I hope when I feel the little 1 inch scar on my thumb, I will feel gratitude and remember to listen.

Listen or bleed. This is not a warning, it’s an invitation.

Blessings,

Vicki

P.S. Uncle! The spammers have found me!  I have had to discontinue allowing comments on this blog because I’ve been getting up to thirty comments a day from spammers.  I do want to know what you are thinking about these articles, so please email me at vicki@outrageousvisions.com.