T is for Telling the Truth
Note: This is part of my WHAT MATTERS TODAY Reboot Camp Program. Email me if you would like to join in.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as a little white lie. Whenever we lie, no matter how small we think the lie is, we chip away at something divine and essential in our being. Whenever we lie, no matter what story we’re telling ourselves that makes the lie okay, we are losing track of the truth within ourselves.
This is why the Habit of Telling the Truth is clarifying and detoxifying at the same time. When we speak our truth, when someone says “Do you want to?” and we answer with our truth, we create a vibration of courage, honesty, and hope.
Whenever we lie, whenever we say we are “Fine” when we are not fine, whenever we say something is okay when it’s not okay, we are chipping away at our own self-esteem as well as inviting those around us to live in their Lies.
It is a big deal to lie to ourselves or anyone else.
Do we have to speak all of the truth insider of us every moment? If course not. It’s the new hairstyle we are asked to comment upon, for example, seems to us pretty dreadful, it is unkind and unwise to say as much. But we can still speak our truth without harming the person.
Sometimes this is quite a challenge, as in the example of a haircut that looks dreadful to us. When I know I’m going to be faced with a challenge to tell the truth, a truth that is not harmful, I say a Little prayer and look for the one part I can comment on positively that is true.
It might sound something like this: “I think the shorter length makes you look more youthful.” I will say this if it is true, and the resonance of the truth will vibrate, and the person to whom I am speaking will know I am telling the truth.
If the spiky, multicolored horns sticking out all over her head still look pretty dreadful to me, I will trust that she will find her way. Either that or I may change my mind at some point and decide to go spiky multicolored horns all over my head too.
Commitment to Truth Telling
What is vitally important is my commitment to speaking only my truth. Because in order to speak the truth, I have to go inside my body to find it. You will have to do that for yourself as well. How do you feel about going to that movie? What would you like to have for dinner? Do you care if someone borrows your sweater?
There is no such thing as a little white lie. Any lie we tell dissolves a holy part in us. It makes us weaker and invites us to lie even more.
The Truth Telling Recovery Program
Start with telling the truth about little things, all day long every day.
Then move onto telling yourself the truth about more difficult matters. In your journal you might ask: “What am I afraid to know right now?”
Finish this sentence several times “If I weren’t afraid, I would let myself know…”
Telling the truth is a lifelong habit. I’ve been practicing telling the truth for over 25 years, it’s easy most of the time now, but sometimes it is still a challenge. Sometimes I don’t want to know what is true because what is true for me will cause me to have to make a change, let go of the job, dissolve a friendship, disappoint myself or others, or change the focus of my business.
Gandhi is a model for me in telling the truth when it is extremely hard to do. Once he organized a march and then canceled it at the last minute, even though thousands of people had gathered, many of whom had given up their jobs to be part of the march.
When Gandhi was challenged by his followers saying he needed to stick with his commitment, he said, “I do not know the big T Truth. I only know my small t truth, and my small t truth changes. I am committed to honoring my small t truths, even when I don’t understand, even when it is inconvenient for myself or others.”
You don’t get to be able to do this kind of truth telling unless you’ve had a lot of practice. Whatever we practice we get good at, and we’re always practicing something. When we practice telling the truth every day in little ways, we can’t help but get better at it. If we practice lying every day in little ways, we can’t help but get better at lying and being disconnected from the Truth that is us.
So tell the truth all the time. It helps you remember what you said and who you really are and who you are meant to be.